What are we doing when we erotically dominate another? Most kink resources focus on technique, safety and consent while overlooking less tangible elements that are equally important in defining the shape and quality of a scene. Informed by Métatron Lau’s years of first-hand experience as a dominant, The Fundamentals of Erotic Dominance explores skills that are often absent in mainstream kink education.
In this groundbreaking work, Lau dismantles the mechanics of kink to uncover its deeper truths: trust, reciprocity, vulnerability and the raw intelligence of the body. Moving beyond manuals, she explores what happens when people enter the unpredictable space of power and surrender, and how that space can support greater attunement, eroticism and transformation.
Aimed at people with some experience of kink and looking for the language to discuss the subtler aspects of BDSM, this thoughtful resource blends theory, practice and cultural critique to articulate a new ethic of erotic power. In Lau’s vision, domination is not control for its own sake but a form of radical attention—one that restores connection between mind and body, self and other, suffering and joy.
“Métatron Lau brings a unique and grounded perspective to the world of erotic dominance, encouraging the reader to think about power exchange as a dynamic, living entity. While written primarily to tops and dominants, submissives and bottoms could gain a lot from this as well, particularly when it comes to the interwoven nature of trust and care. If you feel inspired to take your experience of BDSM to the next level, this is an excellent book to add to your library.”—Kitty Stryker, consent educator and author of Love Rebels: How I Learned to Burn It Down Without Burning Out
“The first book in a long time to go beyond basic how-to’s of topping. Lau’s explanations of the role of trust and flow in creating powerful, erotic scenes is closer to my experience with topping than I have seen reflected in most other writing. This is a great work for anyone looking to better understand and engage the true power of BDSM.”—Rebecca Blanton, author of Kinky and Complicated and The Big Workbook for Submissives
“So grateful for the abundance of intelligence, passion and humanity in these pages, which focus on the true center of dominance that sits in the mind-heart-soul, not in fancy gear or even technical skills. For those seeking sources of ‘graduate-level’ discourse around power exchange, Lau’s exquisitely queer, culturally sensitive, anti-capitalist, fabulously brainy yet deeply felt exploration of the ‘moreness of kink’ truly slaps.”—Arielle Greenberg, author of Superfreaks: Kink, Pleasure and the Pursuit of Happiness
![Ask Yourself [cover]](https://i0.wp.com/thornapplepress.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/9781778242007.jpg?fit=300%2C450&ssl=1)
