Trauma, attachment wounds and external criticism can leave us battling a sense of shame and inadequacy that can keep us from thriving personally and in relationships. In Transforming the Shame Triangle, integrative therapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley use a synthesis of Internal Family Systems and Narrative Process to identify the three parts that they identify as the greatest barriers to achieving the life we want.
The Inner Critic, Shame and the Escaper are players in an internalized drama triangle, acting as perpetrator, victim and rescuer. Together, they create the Shame Triangle, which can trap us in ineffective survival strategies that prevent us from embracing and expressing our true selves.
Through practical exercises and accessible explanations, readers are guided to shift from a state of self-critique to one of self-support—transforming the Shame Triangle to a love triangle. Using parts work, Fern and Cooley open a path to healing and transformation, building a foundation of authenticity and integrity in self and connections, and ultimately creating a more fulfilling life.
“Jessica Fern and David Cooley have made a giant leap in moving us forward in developing new and effective healing modalities. They truly deliver the complete package, for clinicians and for the rest of us. Don’t be distracted by their brilliant synthesis of many psychotherapeutic theories. They take that to the next level and come through with the praxis; putting theory into practice. This book takes that robust analysis and then provides step-by-step instructions for utilizing their innovative tools for healing trauma and breaking free from life-long beliefs and patterns of behavior.”—Kathy Labriola, nurse, counselor and author of The Polyamory Breakup Book
“Transforming the Shame Triangle presents an extremely helpful model for working with the internal dynamics that keep us caught in cycles of shame and suffering, as well as clarifying understandings of the external systems and structures which generate such dynamics. Weaving together multiple wisdoms and practices in an accessible and engaging way, Jessica and David help us to honour the deeply plural nature of ourselves, and help all find their ways towards love and liberation.”—Meg-John Barker, author of the Plural Selves zines and Rewriting the Rules
“Shame is a prevailing issue in people’s psychology and leads to a multitude of problems in relationships. In this book, Jessica Fern and David Cooley provide incredibly helpful tools in aiding clinicians and clients in working through and managing shame. I would highly recommend Transforming the Shame Triangle for anyone looking to increase their understanding of how to use parts work to manage emotions and address problems.”—Tamara Pincus, licensed clinical social worker, sex therapist and co-author of It’s Called Polyamory: Coming Out About Your Nonmonogamous Relationships
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