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More Than Two, Second Edition

Second Edition: Cultivating Nonmonogamous Relationships with Kindness and Integrity
Publication Date: September 2, 2024

Foreword by Kim TallBear

“Can you love more than one person?” A lot of conversations about nonmonogamy start this way. When we discuss “opening” relationships, contemplate whether we want to be exclusive with our partners, or introduce multiple partners to friends and family, we are asking the people in our lives, and ourselves, to contend with this question.

The answer is obvious, and misleading. The love one feels in their heart and the love one expresses through daily acts of care and affection are both “love” in the true sense, but they have different requirements, present different options and produce different outcomes.

More Than Two can’t promise outcomes, but it is a guide to the paths—from anchor or nesting partnerships to relationship anarchy—possible within nonmonogamy. This long-awaited second edition bridges emerging theories on attachment and relationship diversity with authors Eve Rickert and Andrea Zanin’s insight and experience. The arcs of nonmonogamous partnerships bend towards complexity, introspection and compromise—or at least they can, if we work at it.

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  • “This thorough handbook covers all aspects of living polyamorously—from one’s initial decision to embrace the lifestyle and common communication mistakes to strategies to help tackle jealousy and set healthy boundaries. Some sections apply to readers in any kind of relationship, such as the need for a healthy sense of self-love. Other parts are specifically for those in polyamorous relationships, like a discussion about when and how often to begin new relationships…

    From the beginning, Rickert and Zanin allow that nonmonogamy isn’t for everyone. They never characterize the practice as being anything more than an alternative choice to what are current societal norms: ‘It is not the next wave in human evolution. Nor is it more enlightened, more spiritual, more progressive or more advanced than monogamy.’ This nonjudgmental approach permeates the entire book, creating a safe and nurturing place for readers to explore their decision to partake (or not partake) in polyamory. Every facet of the subject is thoughtfully considered and handled with the utmost professionalism. With thorough research and a clear narrative style, Rickert and Zanin dole out facts and advice that readers can turn to again and again at any point throughout their polyamory journey.

    A smart, compassionate resource for anyone who’s ever wondered about polyamory.”—Kirkus

  • More Than Two, Second Edition is incredibly well researched. Woven throughout are important considerations of power, fairness, equity and respect for people’s dignity and well-being. More Than Two provides an insightful and engaging examination of polynormativity, simultaneously providing ample opportunity for self reflection and practical guidance for being the best versions of ourselves in our relationships. I’ve already been incorporating material from the book into my practice and this new edition of More Than Two is definitely on list of resources for clients in my practice—whether nonmonogamy is something new or old hat for them, there’s a lot to be gained from reading this excellent book.”—Stephen Biggs, MA, Registered Psychotherapist

  • “The second edition of More Than Two is a wonderful updated resource that will be helpful for monogamous and nonmonogamous readers alike. The down-to-earth tone and the thoughtful consideration of ways to care for others, make this book an invaluable addition to the literature on relationships. I hope everyone reads it!”—Nora Samaran, author of Turn This World Inside Out

  • “This new iteration of More Than Two is a much-needed expansion. A maturation, an improvement that is not just information, but heart and soul come to fruition. The authors have gone from ‘what you need to know’ to ‘what we have learned.’ Rickert and Zanin have given us the compassionate update that nonmonogamy, and the world, needed.”—Zach Budd, LMSW

  • “I often encounter people preaching the gospel of nonmonogamy and telling me (and others) how to do this thing we do—I’ve even been one of those people—but rarely is that advice worth much. In More Than Two, Second Edition Eve and Andrea have revitalized the original, making it a new essential book. Never preaching or condemning, they explain, examine, and explore in dialog with the reader. They reach out welcoming hands, saying not to be afraid of this lifestyle and that you can do it.”—Cooper S. Beckett, author of My Life on the Swingset and co-author of The Pegging Book

  • More Than Two, Second Edition validates the immense courage it often takes to begin — and continue — one’s ethical nonmonogamy journey. The authors’ breadth of experience is evident, yet not formidable. This is a powerful new addition to the library of ethical nonmonogamy and should be considered essential reading!”—Andre Shakti, polyamory pundit

  • “At last, an update to a classic! It’s wonderful to see this edition cover intersectionality and touch on more nuance and diversity within nonmonogamy. I’m so excited to recommend this book to anyone interested in nonmonogamy, even those who’ve been practicing for years.”—Michelle Hy, nonmonogamy educator, Polyamorous While Asian

  • “Finally, a how-to book that I can recommend without reservation to the newly poly-curious and veteran nonmonogamists alike! This second edition of More Than Two is for anyone who wants to practice conscientiousness and kindness in their connections with others. The practical, actionable advice for nonmonogamy flows intuitively from the thoughtful prompts for self-reflection.”—Eli Heina Dadabhoy, blogger at Heinous Dealings on The Orbit network

  • “When the first version of More Than Two came out, many referred to it as the poly Bible. I like to think that we’ve all collectively learned a lot since then, and it’s nice to see a new incarnation of this book that has grown with us and been fine-tuned to address many more nuances. May we all continue to learn and grow, and keep noticing what is best for our own hearts, minds, and souls.”—Tikva Wolf, creator of Kimchi Cuddles comics

  • “A beautiful deconstruction of how fairy tale mononormativity shapes our expectations for connection, with deep insight into more expansive ways of relating. With this new edition, More Than Two reminds us why it’s a trusted primer on how to use courage, discernment, ethics, and empowerment to thrive in nonmonogamy. Whether you’re new to exploring or looking for a sound refresh, this book is ready to walk you down the enriching and well-trodden pathways to opening up.”—Leigh Cowart, author of Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose

  • More Than Two by Eve Rickert and Andrea Zanin is a captivating exploration of the complexities and joys of polyamory. In this insightful guide, they take readers on a journey beyond conventional relationship norms, offering practical advice, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful reflections on navigating multiple intimate connections. With warmth and wisdom, they challenge societal norms, offering a roadmap for creating fulfilling, ethical, and sustainable relationships. Whether you’re new to polyamory or a seasoned practitioner, More Than Two is an essential resource for anyone seeking to cultivate love and connection in all its forms.”—Laura Antoniou, author of The Killer Wore Leather

  • “This second edition of More Than Two revisits a popular nonmonogamy guide and deeply enriches it with experience, compassion, and gentleness towards people who are exploring the world of nonmonogamous intimacy. Whether your nonmonogamy is flavored more like relationship anarchy or polyamory, whether you are solo or multiply partnered, whether you’re asexual or allosexual, there is quality information here that will help you navigate love in all its forms.”—Kitty Stryker, author of Ask Yourself and Say More

  • “This is essential reading for anyone who wants to date humans and not be an asshole, whether you practice polyamory or not. I will no longer be dating people who have not read this book.”—Rachel Lark, writer, musician, and creator of Coming Soon: A New Rock Musical

  • “I wish I had had something like this when I was starting off in polyamory—it may have helped to counteract so many of the incorrect perceptions I had. I love that this book frames nonmonogamy in a realistic way, acknowledging the struggles we all go through without stigmatising the emotions that most people will understandably feel. I feel grounded by the honest acknowledgement of the experiences and background of both authors—you understand more where they are coming from, which is an aspect that I feel usually missing from a lot of starter books for people interested in nonmonogamous relationships. There are so many complexities to consider around nonmonogamy and this book does a truly great job of covering many bases extremely well.”—Lola Phoenix, author of The Anxious Person’s Guide to Nonmonogamy

  • “In the years since the publication of More Than Two, the world has changed, we have changed, and, for many of us, the way we see that book has changed. Eve and Andrea have done something truly remarkable in taking what was good from the original edition and updating it to create a nonmonogamy resource for a new era; one that is full of wisdom, kindness, awareness, compassion, empathy, and useful practical information.”—JoEllen Notte, author of The Monster Under the Bed and In It Together

  • “The second edition of More Than Two leaves no stone unturned in offering guidance for weathering the highs, lows, and in-betweens of nonmonogamy. Monogamous folks will find a lot to value here, too: insights into growth and change, building trust, communication skills, and real talk about abuse, all written with great empathy and awareness of our very human vulnerabilities. A classic relationship book for everyone.”—Mo Daviau, bookseller and author of Every Anxious Wave

  • “Get ready to engage in honest discussions about difficult subjects without cheerleading or boosterism. More Than Two, Second Edition is both warmhearted and clear-eyed. Recommended for existing practitioners and those curious about getting started.”—Marcus McCann, author of Park Cruising

  • “In its new incarnation, More Than Two is one of the best and most important contemporary books about love and relationships out there. It is essential reading, not only for those who are (or wonder if they are) nonmonogamous, but for their friends and families, and ultimately for anyone who wants to think carefully and deeply about what it means to love and respect one’s partner(s). This book tackles a series of fraught—but urgent—ethical questions about how we behave towards those with whom we share our intimate lives, and it does so with exceptional sensitivity and nuance.”—Carrie Jenkins, author of What Love Is (and What it Could Be), Sad Love and Nonmonogamy and Happiness

  • “Rickert and Zanin accomplish a tricky task, discussing an often-misunderstood topic like nonmonogamy in a direct but respectful manner. Without holding nonmonogamy up as in any way as superior to monogamy, they offer their readers a glimpse at the reality that nonmonogamy can hold within it as much joy and fullfillment for some as monogamy does for others.”—Race Bannon, author of Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun BDSM Lovemaking

  • More Than Two was intensely formative in my polyamory journey. The second edition keeps the practical throughline that makes the book effective and unique while adding even more depth and compassion. While we all carve our own paths and learn experientially, More Than Two is an indispensable guide through the terrain of nonmonogamy.”—Shay Tiziano, author of Tying & Flying and Creating Captivating Classes

  • More Than Two was a pivotal resource for me in the beginning of my nonmonogamy journey, and I am thrilled that a second edition is now available. Eve and Andrea’s desire to create a resource that is practical, compassionate, conscientious, aware, educational, kind, and loving can be felt on every page and in every word. I am beyond excited to discover how this edition impacts me as a more mature nonmonogamous person and that it exists as a resource to aid a new generation of nonmonogamous persons.”—Evita “Lavitaloca” Sawyers, nonmonogamy educator and author of A Polyamory Devotional

  • “While More Than Two was always highly regarded, it was time for an update to adjust for the way the landscape has changed in the last decade. This more than meets the need.”—Kevin A. Patterson, M.Ed, author of Love’s Not Color Blind and the For Hire series

  • “In place of dominant and oppressive-for-so-many relationship norms, Eve Rickert and Andrea Zanin offer abundant possibilities that not only disrupt those norms, but that better meet the desires, needs, skills, and life conditions of the individual humans who are trying to love and relate as best we can in this challenging world.”—from the foreword by Dr. Kim TallBear, Professor and Canada Research Chair in Indigenous Peoples, Technoscience and Society at the University of Alberta and the author of The Critical Polyamorist.

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