The New More Than Two

Reviews

• “In place of dominant and oppressive-for-so-many relationship norms, Eve Rickert and Andrea Zanin offer abundant possibilities that not only disrupt those norms, but that better meet the desires, needs, skills, and life conditions of the individual humans who are trying to love and relate as best we can in this challenging world.”—from the foreword by Dr. Kim TallBear, Professor and Canada Research Chair in Indigenous Peoples, Technoscience and Society at the University of Alberta and the author of The Critical Polyamorist.

• “Eve and Andrea’s desire to create a resource that is practical, compassionate, conscientious, aware, educational, kind, and loving can be felt on every page and in every word. I am beyond excited to discover how this book impacts me as a more mature nonmonogamous person and that it exists as a resource to aid a new generation of nonmonogamous persons.”—Evita “Lavitaloca” Sawyers, nonmonogamy educator and author of A Polyamory Devotional

• “More Than Two was intensely formative in my polyamory journey. This new work keeps the practical throughline that makes the book effective and unique while adding even more depth and compassion. While we all carve our own paths and learn experientially, The New More Than Two is an indispensable guide through the terrain of nonmonogamy.”—Shay Tiziano, author of Tying & Flying and Creating Captivating Classes

• “While More Than Two was always highly regarded, it was time for an update to adjust for the way the landscape has changed in the last decade. The New More Than Two more than meets the need.”—Kevin A. Patterson, M.Ed, author of Love’s Not Color Blind and the For Hire series

• ​​“Rickert and Zanin accomplish a tricky task, discussing an often-misunderstood topic in a direct but respectful manner. Without holding nonmonogamy up as in any way as superior to monogamy, they offer their readers a glimpse at the reality that nonmonogamy can hold as much joy and fulfillment for some as monogamy does for others.”—Race Bannon, author of Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun BDSM Lovemaking

• “One of the best and most important contemporary books about love and relationships out there. It is essential reading, not only for those who are (or wonder if they are) nonmonogamous, but for their friends and families, and ultimately for anyone who wants to think carefully and deeply about what it means to love and respect one’s partner(s). This book tackles a series of fraught—but urgent—ethical questions about how we behave towards those with whom we share our intimate lives, and it does so with exceptional sensitivity and nuance.”—Carrie Jenkins, author of What Love Is (and What it Could Be), Sad Love and Nonmonogamy and Happiness

• “Get ready to engage in honest discussions about difficult subjects without cheerleading or boosterism. The New More Than Two is both warmhearted and clear-eyed. Recommended for existing practitioners and those curious about getting started.”—Marcus McCann, author of Park Cruising

• “The New More Than Two leaves no stone unturned in offering guidance for weathering the highs, lows, and in-betweens of nonmonogamy. Monogamous folks will find a lot to value here, too: insights into growth and change, building trust, communication skills, and real talk about abuse, all written with great empathy and awareness of our very human vulnerabilities. A classic relationship book for everyone.”—Mo Daviau, bookseller and author of Every Anxious Wave

• “In the years since the publication of More Than Two, the world has changed, we have changed, and, for many of us, the way we see that book has changed. Eve and Andrea have done something truly remarkable in taking what was good from the original edition and updating it to create a nonmonogamy resource for a new era; one that is full of wisdom, kindness, awareness, compassion, empathy, and useful practical information.”—JoEllen Notte, author of The Monster Under the Bed and In It Together

• “I wish I had had something like this when I was starting off in polyamory—it may have helped to counteract so many of the incorrect perceptions I had. I love that this book frames nonmonogamy in a realistic way, acknowledging the struggles we all go through without stigmatising the emotions that most people will understandably feel. I feel grounded by the honest acknowledgement of the experiences and background of both authors—you understand more where they are coming from, which is an aspect that I feel usually missing from a lot of starter books for people interested in nonmonogamous relationships. There are so many complexities to consider around nonmonogamy and The New More Than Two does a truly great job of covering many bases extremely well.”—Lola Phoenix, author of The Anxious Person’s Guide to Nonmonogamy

• “Essential reading for anyone who wants to date humans and not be an asshole, whether you practice polyamory or not. I will no longer be dating people who have not read this book.”—Rachel Lark, writer and musician

• “The New More Than Two revisits a popular nonmonogamy guide and deeply enriches it with experience, compassion, and gentleness towards people who are exploring the world of nonmonogamous intimacy. Whether your nonmonogamy is flavored more like relationship anarchy or polyamory, whether you are solo or multiply partnered, whether you’re asexual or allosexual, there is quality information here that will help you navigate love in all its forms.”—Kitty Stryker, author of Ask Yourself,Say More and Love Rebels

• “A captivating exploration of the complexities and joys of polyamory. In this insightful guide, they take readers on a journey beyond conventional relationship norms, offering practical advice, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful reflections on navigating multiple intimate connections. With warmth and wisdom, they challenge societal norms, offering a roadmap for creating fulfilling, ethical, and sustainable relationships. Whether you’re new to polyamory or a seasoned practitioner, The New More Than Two is an essential resource for anyone seeking to cultivate love and connection in all its forms.”—Laura Antoniou, author of The Killer Wore Leather

• “A beautiful deconstruction of how fairy tale mononormativity shapes our expectations for connection, with deep insight into more expansive ways of relating. With this new edition, The New More Than Two reminds us why it’s a trusted primer on how to use courage, discernment, ethics, and empowerment to thrive in nonmonogamy. Whether you’re new to exploring or looking for a sound refresh, this book is ready to walk you down the enriching and well-trodden pathways to opening up.”—Leigh Cowart, author of Hurts So Good

• “When the first version of More Than Two came out, many referred to it as the poly Bible. I like to think that we’ve all collectively learned a lot since then, and it’s nice to see a new incarnation of this book that has grown with us and been fine-tuned to address many more nuances. May we all continue to learn and grow, and keep noticing what is best for our own hearts, minds, and souls.”—Tikva Wolf, creator of Kimchi Cuddles comics and author of Ask Me About Polyamory

• “Finally, a how-to book that I can recommend without reservation to the newly poly-curious and veteran nonmonogamists alike! The New More Than Two is for anyone who wants to practice conscientiousness and kindness in their connections with others. The practical, actionable advice for nonmonogamy flows intuitively from the thoughtful prompts for self-reflection.”—Eli Heina Dadabhoy, blogger at Heinous Dealings on The Orbit network

• “At last, an update to a classic! It’s wonderful to see this edition cover intersectionality and touch on more nuance and diversity within nonmonogamy. I’m so excited to recommend this book to anyone interested in nonmonogamy, even those who’ve been practicing for years.”—Michelle Hy, nonmonogamy educator, Polyamorous While Asian

• “The New More Than Two validates the immense courage it often takes to begin—and continue—one’s ethical nonmonogamy journey. The authors’ breadth of experience is evident, yet not formidable. This is a powerful new addition to the library of ethical nonmonogamy and should be considered essential reading!”—Andre Shakti, polyamory pundit

• “I often encounter people preaching the gospel of nonmonogamy and telling me (and others) how to do this thing we do—I’ve even been one of those people—but rarely is that advice worth much. In The New More Than Two Eve and Andrea have revitalized the original, making it a new essential book. Never preaching or condemning, they explain, examine, and explore in dialog with the reader. They reach out welcoming hands, saying not to be afraid of this lifestyle and that you can do it.”—Cooper S. Beckett, author of My Life on the Swingset and co-author of The Pegging Book

• “The authors have seamlessly incorporated important topics such as decolonization into their riveting discussion of nonmonogamous structures and values. This is the More Than Two for a new empathetic and radical audience.”—Mainely Mandy, video essayist

• “The New More Than Two is a much-needed expansion. A maturation, an improvement that is not just information, but heart and soul come to fruition. The authors have gone from ‘what you need to know’ to ‘what we have learned.’ Rickert and Zanin have given us the compassionate update that nonmonogamy, and the world, needed.”—Zach Budd, LMSW

• “The New More Than Two doesn’t try to be a manual, a course, a quick reference, or a casual read, but it somehow reads as all of those and more. Eve and Andrea keep it accessible to people both new and experienced in multiple relationships by providing context, meaning, and history behind the language and jargon surrounding relationships, intimacy, and communication. It’s deeply rewarding to dive in and see the complex and nuanced details and decisions about some of the most important parts of our lives given clarity, providing everyone with more options and more power to make decisions and create relationships and community.”—Dylan T. Thomas, co-host of Life on the Swingset

• “A true game changer in the field of nonmonogamy theory and education. Rickert and Zanin have crafted a smart, thorough, compassionate book that tackles many issues, including those others shy away from including misconduct and abuse. This book is useful for beginners and veterans alike and offers practical tools to nourish any kind of relationship.”—Tristan Taormino, author of Opening Up

• “A wonderful updated resource that will be helpful for monogamous and nonmonogamous readers alike. The down-to-earth tone and the thoughtful consideration of ways to care for others, make this book an invaluable addition to the literature on relationships. I hope everyone reads it!”—Nora Samaran, author of Turn This World Inside Out

• “The New More Than Two is incredibly well researched. Woven throughout are important considerations of power, fairness, equity and respect for people’s dignity and well-being. The New More Than Two provides an insightful and engaging examination of polynormativity, simultaneously providing ample opportunity for self reflection and practical guidance for being the best versions of ourselves in our relationships. I’ve already been incorporating material from the book into my practice and The New More Than Two is definitely on list of resources for clients in my practice—whether nonmonogamy is something new or old hat for them, there’s a lot to be gained from reading this excellent book.”—Stephen Biggs, MA, Registered Psychotherapist